Kevin Costner Named as Dirty Old Man

Robin Hood Man of Thieves has been named as the actor involved in a sex scandal in a Scottish hotel.

A gag order had previously stopped the actor from being named in a case with a hotel masseuse who claimed an 'A' list actor had dropped his towel mid-massage and proceeded to play with his Little John. The masseuse was fired after complaining to the hotel bosses - and she claimed unfair dismissal. The judge removed the gagging order yesterday as the case was settled and the actor who likes playing with his golf balls was outed as the actor involved.

Jade Goody Proves How Not to Run a Marathon

Big Bro leftover, Jade Goody, showed marathon aspirers why its not good to pig out before a marathon.

Pruod of her 'training regime' of chinese takeaways, curries and beer with little or no actual running, Goody keeled over during the 26 mile race in London on Sunday.

Wrapped in tin foil, medics helped her into an ambulance as she put on her oscar-worthy 'i'm dying' performance.

George Michael Blames Elton for Everything

When everything is going wrong in your life, there's always one person to blame - well, if you're George Michael there is. And that man is Elton John.

Thats right. If it wasn't for Elton, George would not have been found slumped in his car with a stash of cannabis. He would not have hit 3 parked cars - then again he's just a terrible driver. Well, thats ok then.

For all his problems - it's all because of Elton John when, about 18 months ago, he said he hadn't seen George for years. Thats apparantly started George's current Soap Opera. Personally, I can find better things to watch.

Has Paris Hilton Fallen Prey to the Poker Craze?

Hotel heiress Paris Hilton seems to have become addicted to poker. She probably likes getting the nuts and then folding to a flush.

However, it seems that after being taught the game she's now hooked - even playing tournaments in Vegas.

Maybe she'll stay at the tables and keep off the tabloid front covers. But I guess thats too much to ask for sometimes.

TomKitten Finally Makes Her Way Into the World

Suri Cruise was finally born - the same day as Tom's famous bone of contention, Brooke Shields, had her baby.

There's not too much more to be said - except lots of rumours and not much real detail is swirling around the Internet right now - was she born at a hospital? Did she have any drugs? Are the couple still together? Do we care? Its just like when Katie was pregant.

But my favourite is the amount of coverage over the name and its meanings. The official definitions coming from Camp Cruise claim that Suri means 'Red Rose' in Persian. They're also claiming it means 'Princess' in Hebrew. Not quite true - thats Sarah, not Suri.
However, if we're going to quibble on meanings, Suri is pickpocket in Japanese. Its also a type of alpaca.

There's more - of course
- Tom Cruise was born in Syracuse, NY = Suri Cruise perhaps?
- If you take the middle 4 letters of Cruise - c RUIS e - and mix it, you get Suri
- Suri - pronounced Surrey - is the HQ of scientology in the UK - and where Hubbard lived

That'll do for now - I think.
Here's some of the more amusing TomKitten news over the web:

• Miracle Baby Postpartum: What's In A Vaguely Ethnic Name Round-Up [defamer]
  
• Alien Cruise Has Blue Eyes???? [perez hilton]
  
• Baby gift for the TomKitten? A normal life [msnbc]
  

Kudos to the guys at perezhilton.com for the hilarious image

Strictly Dance Fever - Latest Betting Odds

The BBC have gone ballroom dancing crazy again - and this time its Strictly Dance Fever hosted by Graham Norton. Perfect casting methinks. As 10 couples tango, jive and dance their way through judges and voting. What did we do on a Saturday night before all these reality shows?!

Paddy Power have made Darren and Hollie clear favourites at 5/4. But its still early days and anything can happen. Ben and Stephanie are second favourite at 7/2 whilst Paul and Pamela languish as 25/1 longshots

Who will win Strictly Dance Fever
All odds taken from Paddy Power

Darrien & Hollie 5 - 4
Ben & Stephanie 7 - 2
Darren & Lana 4 - 1
Rob & Dawn 7 - 1
JP & Stacey 8 - 1
Stewart & Clare 14 - 1
Paul & Aravon 14 - 1
Mark & Jennifer 16 - 1
Paul & Pamela 25 - 1

For more odds and a £10 free bet when you sign up, visit Paddy Power

George Michael Likes Crashing into Cars

It must be that time of year for crazy celebrities. George Michael seemed to get over his embarrassing moment a few years ago with some diginity left. However, recently that all seems to have gone to pot. Literally - as a few weeks back he was found slumped in his car in Central London in possession of cannabis.

Now the former Wham! star crashed his Range Rover into 3 cars at the weekend. He hit one, tried to move away - in the meantime, hitting another car which bashed into a third...oh to be a celeb

The Neverending Crazy World of Tom Cruise

Easter maybe over, but thats not without a constant diet of crazy Tom Cruise interviews in parade.com and GQ and the ongoing neverending Katie Holmes pregnancy. Here's some of the highlights - or that should probably be lowlights

• Tom plans to eat his alleged baby's placenta - I saw the ABC interview with Diane Sawyer - and he did correct himself after a long pause, a scary stare and a glint in the eye. Then he guffawed and said it was a joke. Who knows anymore.
  
• Cruise and Katie have fantastic sex. I'm sure thats something Ma and Pa Holmes never ever wanted to know - and neither did the rest of the world. Shudder
  
• A Swedish reporter 'dares' to ask Cruise some obvious questions about his ex-wives and scientology. Tom is not amused and storms off
  
• Cruise's fans/fellow cult members/himself/all of the above sabotage a parade.com poll to make it seem like the media are crazy - not Tom
  
• Katie goes shopping
  
• Katie does some more shopping
  
• Indepedent newspaper reporter dares to infiltrate scientology compound and finds its just as scary as Tom
  
• Tom claims you can be a scientologist and a Catholic. But its irrelevant, because Katie is now just a scientologist
  
• Jumping the couch is the new jumping the couch
  
• Cruise will be in Rome for the MI:pointless sequel. Nevermind that Katie's still pregnant. Then he'll do some running around NYC for the US premier on May 3. And yeah, she's still pregnant
  
• Tom goes to baby seminars. Maybe because his last 2 kids didn't count
  

I think thats enough Cruise for the day. Thankfully

Bucky Out: 7 to Go - American Idol Latest Betting Odds

Country rocker Bucky Covington finally said his goodbye this week as he growled his way through Queen's 'Fat Bottomed Girl'. To be fair to Bucky, he wasn't the worst of the bunch - and Ace was lucky to stay in. But then again, the same could be said most weeks about Kellie Pickler, who amazingly still hasn't even been in the bottom 3. Her appeal is unbelieveable as she annihilated 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. Shudder.

Chris Daughtry remains strong odds-on favourite at 4/5 despite singing a more obscure song this week in 'Innuendo' and i'm still not convinced he's winning the public vote at all. I wouldn't be surprised if we see him in the bottom three in the next couple of weeks - but who knows. He could swap his alt-rock screech for suave sophisticate for Rod Stewart 'big band' week (is that for real? we shall see).

Taylor Hicks is a clear second favourite at 5/2 and returned to his annoying distracting dancing this week - but he's obviously got a big fanbase out there and is probably gaining a lot of votes just to spite Simon Cowell's perception of what an American Idol should look like

Katherine McPhee was just a'iight and her 4/1 is interesting - she lacks personality and presence and while she has a great voice, she doesn't always seem to want to use it. Paris Bennett on the other hand does use her voice and its amazing at times but she is just a bit...hmm...unnerving at times in the way she acts and dresses. I can't see her winning. Elliot Yamin has the best male voice, but not the charisma - and he always appears nervous. He seems a stalwart of the bottom 3 - but got a big promotion this week on the show so it'll be interesting to see if that gains him some votes

American Idol - Outright Winner
All odds by Paddy Power

Chris Daughtry 4/5
Taylor Hicks 5/2
Katherine McPhee 4/1
Kellie Pickler 8/1
Paris Bennett 20/1
Elliott Yamin 25/1
Ace Young 40/1

Visit Paddy Power and get a free £10 bet when you sign up

Martin Fowler Quits Albert Square

James Alexandrou, AKA Martin Fowler, is the latest actor to leave Eastenders - only 3 days after his screen wife Sonia, played by Natalie Cassidy, decided to quit.

James has been on the soap for 10 years and is still only 21 - but for once, soap bosses will leave the doors open should he wish to return. So no grizzly death for Martin, but we will have to put up with lothario Martin before he leaves, as he makes a number of conquests over the summer.

My prediction - its either the last we'll ever hear from him - or we'll be seeing martin back in the Queen Vic sometime in the next 2 years

David Blaine Returns to Swim with the Fishes

Publicity seeking illusionist David Blaine is about to unveil his latest stunt to his bored, but ultimately fascinated audience in May when he plans to live in a 'human aquarium' for a week.

Blaine will be on public view in New York floating in a specially built tank. He will finish the stunt on May by trying to beat the current 'holding his breath underwater' record. Of course abusive passersby will be allowed to prod, tap, mimic and annoy him on their travels.

Here's to hoping a pruned Blaine will reappear without gills and fins

Gareth Gates Dumped by Record Label

In none-to-surprising news, Sony has dropped Pop Idol Runner Up, Gareth Gates, from their label.

The spikey haired 21 yr old has released 2 albums - the second one being a pretty huge flop. Gates was backed solidly by Simon Cowell on the first season of Pop Idol and is still managed by 19 Entertainment - but ultimately the public new better - Will Young win the competition and is still one of the UK's top male vocalists.

Only one runner-up has really made any impact on the public - and that was Clay Aitken in American Idol

Celebrity Survey Buzz

• UK women have voted Kelly Brook as having the 'best female body in Britain'. Other women in the top ten included Kate Moss, Catherine Zeta Jones, Kiera Knightley, Sienna Miller, Kate Winslet, Davina McCall, Charlotte Church, Victoria Beckham finally in tenth place, Elizabeth Hurley
  
• Bob Geldof came number one in a poll to find the best celebrity dad. Sir Bob beat the likes of David Beckham and Johnny Depp in the survey. Other celeb dads that made the top ten included Jamie Oliver, Jonathan Ross, Andrew Flintoff, Chris Martin, Brad Pitt, Jude Law and Sir Paul McCartney
  

The Apprentice (US Version) - Who's Going to Win? Latest Betting Odds

Donald Trump is looking for his 5th Apprentice and we're already a few weeks into the process.

Its always easier to figure out which contestants won't be the Apprentice - and this season is no different. Brent, thankfully, went out a couple of weeks ago, but Tarek and Lenny are still hanging in there - but surely not for much longer. Their odds mirror this as they're longshots at and 15/1 and 30/1 respectively.

However, its still a lottery - as Bryce, one of the stronger candidates - went out last week.

Medical sales manager, Allie is currently favourite at 3/1 with Lee and Andrea following closely at 4/1. Annoying millionaire Andrea is surprisingly also at 4/1 whilst not-so-posh Brit Sean is mid-table at 6/1

The Apprentice 5 (USA) - Outright Winner
Allie 3/1
Lee 4/1
Andrea 4/1
Tammy 5/1
Sean 6/1
Michael 7/1
Roxanne 7/1
Leslie 10/1
Charmaine 15/1
Tarek 15/1
Lenny 30/1

Odds taken from Bet365 (Specials>North America>The Apprentice)

Great British Menu - Latest Odds

BBC2 starts a new show tonight to find the best menu in the UK. 14 of the top British chefs will compete to create the perfect 4-course meal. The winner will have the meal served at Mansion House on 15 June 2006 to mark the Queen's 80th birthday.

Paddy Power have already opened a book on who's going to win

Which chef will cook the winning Main Course?

Antony Worrall Thompson 6-1
Gary Rhodes 6-1
Marcus Wareing 6-1
Michael Caines 7-1
John Burton-Race 7-1
Nick Nairn 8-1
Paul Rankin 8-1
Angela Hartnett 10-1
Richard Corrigan 10-1
Simon Rimmer 12-1
Tom Lewis 14-1
Bryn Williams 14-1
Galton Blackiston 16-1
Atul Kochar 20-1

Sign up with Paddy Power for a free £10 bet

$100 Million for Tom Hanks to Stand on His Head

Well, not quite. But apparantly Hanks and Tom Cruise are so popular in Hollywood, he could do just that and get bums on seats.

The 2 Toms (lets call them TomTom for now) have been named the most bankable actors in Hollywood. TomTom topped a poll that includes Brad Pitt and George Clooney - who we know just don't have that *star* power to ensure guaranteed box office success.

The list also includes Jim Carrey and Johnny Depp, whilst Nicole Kidman and Julia Roberts are the only 2 actresses to make a dent in the top ten

Mandisa Out: American Idol Latest Betting Odds

There's 8 to go on American Idol as Mandisa was voted off in the 'country' round. Two poor performances probably helped her exit after early promise, but of course it wouldn't be Idol without some controversy" about Mandisa's lifestyle opinions.

But as the competition starts to heat up, the betting is remaining fairly static. Chris Daughtry seems a safe favourite and no doubt will find next week's Queen round slightly easier then, say, American's current favourite airhead, Kellie Pickler - who's probably never heard of the band.

Bucky is still in the contest - not even getting to the bottom 3 this week, and he'll no doubt growl his through a "crazy little thing called love" or another more tepid Queen hit next week.

One of the stronger singers, Elliot Yamin, did find his way to the bottom 2 - and whilst not giving his best performance this week, it should get some fans out of the woodwork to start voting. He just needs to find a little more charisma and confidence.

Otherwise, its another week of Ace (please sing Bohemian Rhapsody. Please. Just for the comedic element), Taylor, Katherine and Paris to underwhelm us once more with what could be one of the more funnier themed weeks

American Idol - Outright Winner
All odds taken from Bet365.com (Specials>North America>American Idol)

Chris Daughtry 6/5
Katherine McPhee 11/4
Taylor Hicks 11/4
Kellie Pickler 15/2
Elliot Yamin 14/1
Paris Bennett 16/1
Ace Young 33/1
Bucky Covington 100/1

For more American Idol Markets, visit Bet365.com

Ding Ding: Parky Vs Meg Ryan - Round One

The brief history: Legendary interviewer, Michael Parkinson (from hereon he shall be named by his nick, Parky) has America's girl next door, turned plastic surgery nightmare, Meg Ryan as a guest. The interview bombs. Parky asks questions and Ryan looks like she wants out of there quicker than you can fake an orgasm. She grunts and replies with monosyllabic frequency as Parky looks pained and uncomfortable.

Finally, Meg Ryan has spoken about the 'experience' to Marie Clare magazine. She calls Parky - the bastion of British interviewers - a 'nut'. She doesn't specify what type of nut though. She was also offended by him - and was upset because it was 20 minutes straight - no US-style ad breaks after 7 minutes giving her a chance to run and get a top up of..er...coffee perhaps

Parky has fought back in his own illiterative style. He calls her "'the most boring bore I've ever met' and thinks being called a nut by her is a compliment. He reckons Ryan secretly fancies him. Who knows - she fancied Russell Crowe so anything could be true!

Movie Moments Buzz: Simpsons Movie, Superman 3D, Ice Age sinks Stone

• The Simpsons are coming to the movies! The Holy Grail of Simpsons fans could finally be happening - less than a year and a half from now as 20th Century Fox finally announced an actual date for the release of the movie. Note the date in your diary for the US release: July 27, 2007 [Zap2it]
  
  
• Find your nearest IMAX as soon as you can when Superman Returns hits the screens later this year - there'll be 20 minutes of 3D only at IMAX screens. And yes, you will have to wear those glasses, but there will be cues onscreen to let you know when [monsters and critics]
  
  
• The Ice Age sequel, Ice Age: The Meltdown stormed into US movie records last weekend as it amazingly took in over $70 million in its opening weekend. Its the second largest non-xmas, non holiday opening ever, as well as the second biggest animated movie opening (only Shrek 2 was bigger). The reviews were bad, but not bad enough to deter movie-starved audiences who've been staying away from the flicks in their droves recently. On the other hand, Basic Instinct 2 proved that Sharon Stone cannot just uncross her legs to get viewers. It took an embarrassingly bad $3.2 million in its opening weekend. Razzies awards next year anyone? [total film]

Reality TV Celebrity Buzz Bits

• X-Factor's Brenda Edwards joins cast of Chicago [bizarre]
  
• Big Bro winner Anthony Hutton gets beaten up at nightclub [daily mirror]
  
• Big Bruv's Eugene Sully goes political standing in the local council elections again [daily mirror]
  

Embrace Vs Miss England: World Cup Song Wars

Move over footie, the battle for the world cup song victory is much more important.

It seems official incumbants of the world cup song, Embrace, haven't even written the lyrics yet. They joke they can't find anything to rhyme with Rooney. How about george clooney?

In the meantime, that famed songster, Miss England, is putting out her own song. Hammasa Kohistani is recording "Come on England (Time for Glory)" with fellow 'Miss'es on St George's day. The Sun has a preview of the song

Lloyd Webber's Search for a Maria

The Hills are Alive...with the sound of...Maria Idol.

Andrew Lloyd Webber has teamed up with Graham Norton and the BBC for a new TV show - aptly named "How do you Solve a Problem like Maria"

The new talent show will be scouring the Isles and putting wannabe Maria's through their paces to try and find the new star of his new upcoming West-End production of 'The Sound of Music'.

So if you like your Saturday night's filled with the delightful tunes of 'My Favourite Things', 'So Long, Farewell' and 'Do-Re-Me' then it'll be your night.

For others, it'll feel like Christmas and Easter TV every saturday night. Get your earplugs ready.