TomKat Birth is Imminent - Cruise Orders Silence

Continuing the neverending spiral of insanity coming from the Tom Cruise camp, it appears that placards are going up outside the humble Beverley Hills abode ordering any visitors, paparrazi or gatecrashers to remain silent and make any physical movements slow.

Following the scientology birthing doctrine, created by a male sci-fi writer L Ron Hubbard, Katie will have to remain as quiet as possible during the birth and anyone nearby has to remain in complete silence - any noise could ultimately negatively affect the kid and will become a traumatic experience. And no painkillers are allowed unless absolutely necessary.

However, there's still some time to bet on the naming of the Tomkitten. Paddy Power's have gone with the obvious names for Junior, but if fellow scientologists are anything to go by, the more obscure name the better. Jason Lee named his kid Pilot Inspektor, whilst John Travolta's kids are the slightly more bearable Jett and Ella Bleu. Hubbard and L Ron still haven't made the list - but Shakespeare and Hollywood have